im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
