Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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