i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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