U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
