there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
