Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
