why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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