at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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