My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
