In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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