there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
