Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
