so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
