whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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