...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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