i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dicks are not precious.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
