Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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