I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
