Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
