awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
