Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
