He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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