not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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