it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
