you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
