Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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