OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
