I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Boobs are out for the taking
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
