awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
