So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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