where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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