I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
