I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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