I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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