No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
