dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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