Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
