I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
