So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
