It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
