Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Even my vagina gasped.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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