hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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