Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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