You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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