dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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