I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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