Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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