My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
