Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
What drink are we having for lunch?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
