My boss' voice literally gives me gas
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
