I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
