i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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