Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
