We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
