the new term for farting is butt boxing.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
im holly from the hills drunk
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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