No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
