Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize