dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
