His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
