Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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