i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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