I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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