Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
