I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
