We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
