yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
